Jessica, I do not know you as a person but I get what you are going though. That beam of light hit you and you start observing what you never did. I have had the pleasure of multiple lows and turning points, often triggered from personal loss or failures. These lessons are meant to be life's biggest lessons. You have been bestowed the ability to empathize and recognise the value of time. You are destined to be a responsible person. I believe so.